License to Ill (in Class)

I've just completed my TEFL course and with it, my first 15 lessons. Like your typical young teacher, I am exhilirated by teaching. Lesson planning, teaching the whole class, setting up group work, analyzing my shortcomings - the whole thing is tremendously challenging and rewarding. I wrote a whole cheesy essay about it that i won't post here.

Anyways, I've only been teaching for a month, so I'm no expert, but I think the kids have been enjoying my lessons. Basically, I try to make my lessons fun and aligned with a learning goal. While lessons can focus on short writing tasks, reading comp, proper tense usage, etc, much of what we do involves speaking and listening.

Most kids here (even in the western provinces) learn the nuts and bolts of English grammar - but it's sort of like hieroglyphics to them until they're actually made to speak it. This is actually a good thing for me because it means I don't have to spend a whole lot of time teaching complete beginners (which can be quite exhausting work!). Instead, I get to focus on bringing them up to speed for business communications or everyday speech.

For my lesson on sarcasm, the main goal was to have them understand sarcastic intonation and practice speaking. Virtually all Americans are terribly sarcastic, so I felt it was a useful thing to know. 

Anyways, I started by writing three statements on the board - two of them were bland opinions, one was a statement that expressed a highly unlikely opinion (I think I wrote "My favorite thing about Beijing is how smoggy it is.) Then I asked students to point out the sarcastic phrase.

 

Next, I drilled the concept by asking the better students to give me a sarcastic remark 1. when i stepped on their shoe (thank you!) 2. about my ugly yellow watch (wow that's a great watch will!) and some others involving the class (although i made myself the butt of most jokes. BTW, the students were all in their 20's). Then I wrote sentences on the board and asked them to write a sarcastic remark. IE What would you say if you came into my dirty, smelly bedroom? Or What would you say if you had to listen to my loud, annoying music? etc. Shared out, got some very funny remarks. 

This activity led into vocabulary for a dialogue I'd created earlier. When you explain ESL vocab, you don't just give definitions; you've got to get students to understand the concept through guiding questions. IE If I want student to understand the concept of envy, I might start telling a student, "That's a really nice watch you've got. Where did you get it? I'd like to have a watch like that. Maybe I could borrow it sometime... etc" Then I'd ask the students what envy means and (hopefully) use their correct definition. 

Anyways, parts of the dialogue itself derived from an old Beastie Boys song. You may have heard of it - "You've Gotta Fight for Your Right to Party." In the dialogue, we've got a sarcastic son, a sarcastic mom, and a sarcastic dad. I had the students read it over, ask questions, and then I asked them which lines were sarcastic and why. Then I had three strong students act it out, then 3 more, then 3 more.

Here's the scene:

Scene: A kid is listening to loud rap music on the stereo in his dirty bedroom. His mother and father knock loudly on the door.

Dad: Matthew!
Son does not hear, dances around the room.
Mom: Matthew!
Son does not hear.
Mom opens door and puts her hands on her hips. Dad follows Mom.
Mom: WHAT’S THAT NOISE?
Son: (yelling): MOM YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS! IT’S THE BEASTIE BOYS!
Dad turns off the stereo.
Mom: Jealous? Yes, I’m jealous of your excellent taste in music.
Son: I know. You wouldn’t barge in here all the time if you weren’t.
Mom: You should really listen to your music louder. I’ve heard it’s good for your ears.
Son: Very funny, Mom.
Dad: Your room looks great right now. Did you vacuum in here?
Mom: It smells great too. Are you using a new cologne?
Son: Yeah. It’s called “week-old tuna sandwich.”
Dad: Don’t get smart with your mother, mister! You’re cruisin’ for a brusin’!
Son: Sorry, Mom
Dad: That’s it! Clean your room right now!
Son moves very slowly to pick up a shirt off the ground.
Mom: Slow down, you’re working so fast you might hurt yourself.
Dad: Yeah don’t strain yourself.
Son fakes an injury.
Son: Owww my back!
Dad: You have until 7 pm to make this place cleaner than a soap factory. If you don’t do it, we’re signing you up for the army and you’re going to Iraq.
Mom: And another thing: I’ll kick you outta my home if those are the clothes you’re gonna wear
Dad: And I’ll kick you outta my home if you don’t CUT THAT HAIR!
Son drops jaw.

I had a few minutes left, so I played the song for them and passed out the lyrics. It was a fun day.

We studied how to use continuous tenses the next day, I swear.