From the Hai to the Jing

A week ago, I was shipped like a cheap DVD player from Shanghai to Beijing. Apparently the Shanghai course didn't have enough studentssigned up for it or something (I was the only one). So on the day the course was set to begin, they told me that I would be moved to Beijing"at some time in the future." Like a good comrade, I didn't fuss about being on a need-to-know basis. I wound up being told my flight info about 12 hours before my flight. The good news was that I got a week off to explore Beijing. Some highlights:

- I successfully convinced some Chinese students that Duck Flu was aninfectious disease that turns you into a zombie (they were olderstudents, so I wasn't being mean).

- I saw a Chinese band play Mariachi music.

- I might go see a Chinese band play reggae this weekend

- I might also take a 10 hour train to Inner Mongolia.

- You can buy a noodle burrito or a pineapple on a stick virtually anywhere in this city at any time. The noodle burrito isn't as good as it sounds...

- When I got here, the TEFL company put me up in the dirtiestapartment in Beijing. Ok maybe that's exaggerrating, but it lookedlike 1018 Garnett after a pa -- anytime between 09/04-06/05. Then the electricity went out. As promised, they paid the electricity bill (so I was only living by candlelight for 3 nights). However, they have not yet sent a cleaning lady.

- A woman ran into me on her bicycle, but I'm ok. In China, bikes andmopeds simply do not stop - ever. Nor do cars that are turning stopfor pedestrians - ever. Predictably, China has 10 times more traffic accidents per mile than the USA. I think it's a rite of passage for foreigners to get hit by bikes - virtually every expat I've met here has some story about getting hit by a biker.

Why I Now Carry A Man Purse

Two weeks back, my Mom sent me an email about toilet paper in China. I was at the Shanghai library when I read it:

"I hope I don't sound nutty - but I don't think they flush toilet paper down the toilet in China. Maybe you can ask an English speaker."

Now, in my dorm, we have fully functional toilets, so i brushed offyour advice. I promptly signed off and went down the hall to the bathroom, sat down and did my business. Then i noticied it -- there was no toilet paper in the stall. Nor was there any toilet paper in any of the other stalls -- not even paper towels by the sink. Just anair drier. A bit flustered, I texted my buddy to ask him what I should do. He quickly responded "Use Communist Lit." A great idea, but unfortunately the stacks were closed; only the internet room was stillopen. So i left, duckwalked around the city for about 15 minutes until I came upon an Irish pub that was open. There I discovered my holy grail. Long story short, I now carry around a roll of toilet paper wherever I go, in my backpack (or manpurse). Anyways, I've figured out that most places have toilet paper -- you're just not supposed to flush it down the toilet; you toss it in the trash instead. But the library was special. It's only open for about4 hours a day and they don't have any paper whatsoever. Imagine that - communists cutting costs on libraries.

Dorm Life

When I first arrived in Shanghai, I was staying in a dorm that was slightly more accomodating than Bobb-McCulloch at Northwestern (notsaying much, I know). My single room on the 13th floor of a student dormitory at East China University of Science & Technology was pretty nice.

Apparently the 13th floor has some bad luck associated with it- that's why the Chinese tend to place the international students there. How welcoming - as if the 50 ft Mao statue at the base of my dorm wasn't enough. Besides the midnight curfew (which I broke 80% ofthe time), the announcements and horrible music that blares through loudspeakers at 9 am, and the occasional strange odor, my room was fantastic. Really. I had my own bathroom, complete with a shower, sink and functional toilet; My twin bed came fitted with sheets and blankets; I even had my own deck where I can see hundreds of apartmentbuildings, an expressway and a giant Ferris wheel.

The strangest part of the campus, though, was the music they played through the loudspeakers. If anyone has ever played Final Fantasy or a Japanese video game from the early 1990's, this is what it sounded like. Not bad, just very strange to hear at odd hours of the day.

Actually the strangest part of the campus might have been the washing machine. It had a simple warning on it: "Do not use the washing machine in the wrong way and save water." Fine enough, I'm all for proper usage of appliances and conservation. The only problem was that the directions for this device were entirely in Chinese. I stared at thething for awhile and then walked away, befuddled.